


Even Darkness Has Its Shadows

by too_many_soras (CynicalMistrust)



Series: Putting the Pieces Back in Their Places [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Sassy Vanitas, Spoilers, post kh3, shenanigans ensue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2019-10-24 01:10:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17694719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicalMistrust/pseuds/too_many_soras
Summary: He sat up, the thin blanket covering him slipping to the floor. His helmet was gone, along with his armor. He wasn't surewhathe was wearing, but it looked like some mixture of Sora's and Ven's clothes.“What the fuck,” he said, lifting part of the open shirt all the idiots were so fond of wearing. “These are hideous.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Drabble series focused around Vanitas and the shit storm his presence causes

Vanitas opened his eyes and blinked.

He was alive.

He was alive?

He frowned at the strange ceiling, wiggling his fingers. It felt like a real body. But how..?

A soft snore caught his attention and he turned his head, blinking again at the sight of Ven asleep in a chair. Now he knew this wasn't real. There was no way Ven would be in the same room as him, much less sleep there.

He sat up, the thin blanket covering him slipping to the floor. His helmet was gone, along with his armor. He wasn't sure _what_ he was wearing, but it looked like some mixture of Sora's and Ven's clothes.

“What the fuck,” he said, lifting part of the open shirt all the idiots were so fond of wearing. “These are hideous.”

“Your suit was hideous,” Ven murmured.

Vanitas tensed and looked up, hating how naked he felt without his helmet. He watched Ven, carefully meeting his eyes, and hated the wariness he saw in them even more. “What am I doing here?”

Ven didn't answer immediately, watching Vanitas without moving. “Getting a second chance,” he finally said.

Vanitas frowned. “I didn't ask for one.” He'd made his choice. They both had.

Ven sighed and pushed out of his chair, stepping towards the bed. “You can leave, if that's what you want. No one will stop you.”

Vanitas glanced at the door before looking back to Ven. There was an unspoken “or” there, he knew.

Ven smiled. It was faint, a barely there twitch of his lips, but it was a smile. “Or, you can stay. You can learn to make friends with those you called enemies. It's up to you.”

He stepped closer, lifting a hand and poking a finger in Vanitas’ chest. “But if you stay, we are not fighting. Your quest to forge the χ-blade is history. You will not try to hurt me or my friends.” He punctuated each statement with another, harder stab of his finger.

Vanitas stared, rubbing at his chest when Ven finally pulled away. “Where's the fun in that?”

Ven narrowed his eyes. “Just because you think you have to choose darkness doesn't mean you can't enjoy the light.”

Vanitas raised an eyebrow. “You've been spending too much time with Sora and the others.”

“You could do to spend more.”

Vanitas snorted. Like that was going to happen. “All your cotton candy feelings would rot my teeth.”

Ven crossed his arms. “Then leave.”

Vanitas blinked. Ven was calling his bluff? He looked at the door, annoyed that he wasn't the one in control here. He was off-balance, and the clothes and… having a choice in front of him wasn't helping.

He gritted his teeth. “This was all _his_ idea, wasn't it?” Sora was a meddler through and through. The idiot couldn't resist fixing shit even when it was still functional.

He looked back at Ven when he didn't answer.

“It was mine,” Ven said.

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. _“Why?”_

Ven sighed and looked at him like that should be obvious. “Because if everyone else gets another chance, then you deserve one, too. You have a body. The war is over. Xehanort is gone. You can be _free,_ Vanitas. Free to be what or whoever _you_ want. If that's darkness, then fine. But it should be a choice that wasn't-” Ven stopped, looking away with a sharp breath.

Vanitas didn't miss the pained look in Ven's eyes. It was one he'd seen before, and more than once in a mirror.

He didn't want to hear what else Ven might have to say and slid off the bed. “Fine,” he muttered, smirking when Ven glanced at him. The wariness was still there, but that was fine. “But when your friends jump me, I'm kicking their assess.”

“They promised not to kill you,” Ven replied.

Vanitas snorted. Killing was a far cry from maiming. “And I want new clothes.”

“Good. Roxas wants his shirt back.”

Vanitas pulled off the outer shirt, making sure to leave a tear in one of the seams. He handed it over with a smile and headed for the door. The shirt beneath was an awkward fit, but it was tight enough it almost felt like his suit. It would do until he found something better.

“Where's the food?”


	2. Chapter 2

Ven had, surprisingly, not abandoned him the moment they left Radiant Garden. His gummiphone went off at least once every ten minutes though, and by the start of hour two, Vanitas had already resisted smashing it into oblivion five times. 

When it rang again, he snatched it out of Ven's hand, pressing it to his ear. 

“Who is this and why should I care?” he asked, spinning away from Ven's flailing attempt to get his phone back. 

There was a beat of silence before a female voice asked, “Vanitas?” 

“Aqua! So good to hear you're alive,” he cooed. 

“Where's Ven?” 

Vanitas rolled his eyes at the hint of panic in her voice. How touching. “He's fine. For now,” he replied sweetly. 

“Vanitas!” Ven snapped. 

Vanitas smirked at him. “Relax. No need for you to keep checking up on him. Promise I'll have him home by curfew. Ask Terra to help unbunch your panties.” He hung up before he heard her response, turning the device over in his hands. “How do you turn this off?” 

When it rang again two seconds later, popping up with a picture of Terra, he finally gave in to his urge to smash it on the ground. The ringing died out with a sad fading of digital noise before blissful silence took its place. 

“That was uncalled for,” Ven said. 

Vanitas raised an eyebrow, noting Ven didn't seem all that upset about it. He shrugged and continued towards the shops. “Them acting like your parents is uncalled for.” He stopped when Ven didn't follow, turning to find him staring at the broken phone. 

“They're not acting like my parents,” Ven said, soft enough Vanitas almost didn't hear him. “They're acting like my friends.”

Vanitas snorted. “Friends don't smother you.”

Ven looked up at him with a frown. “How would you know?” 

Vanitas froze, dark shadows surging into existence around him in response to the burst of pain in his chest. He channeled it directly into rage like he'd always done. Exactly as he'd been trained to do. Every time was as bad as the first. It felt like he was choking on a non-existent heart being squeezed in his chest, but he pushed through it. 

Pain was weakness. Anger was strength. 

The Unversed wiggled free of the shadows.

“VANITAS!” 

Vanitas blinked, the black void that had crept over his vision clearing a bit. 

Ven was in front of him, Keyblade in hand, though he looked reluctant to use it. “Vanitas?”

He looked away, the shadows and Unversed vanishing with a soft  _ poof.  _ He turned without responding, shoving his hands into his pockets. He went in the first clothing store he found and started browsing.

Thankfully, Ven didn’t say anything, lingering a few feet away as he pretended, poorly, to shop as well. His attempt to pretend he wasn't side-eyeing Vanitas the entire time was even worse.  


Clothes were easy enough to find. By the time they reached the last shop, Vanitas had a few sets of clothes that didn't look like he'd raided a depressed, psychedelic clown's closet. He’d even found a black cloth mask that covered his nose and lower half of his face, with a giant white skull on it. 

“You can’t be serious,” Ven said when Vanitas put the mask into place.

“Damn right I’m serious,” Vanitas replied. It wasn’t a helmet, but it was close enough. It even went nicely with his form-fitting black and red shirts. 

He scrunched his nose and mouth a few times until the cloth settled right, then turned to Ven. “So do I need to find my own place to sleep?”


	3. Chapter 3

Vanitas stood on the beach of Destiny Islands, staring out at the waves as they rushed in and over his feet. His heels sank a bit further into the sand each time they receded. It was a strange sensation. Soothing, almost.

He couldn’t remember ever being barefoot before. There were a few vague memories from when he and Ven had still been one, but they’d faded before he’d even fully formed into his own identity. They were just ghosts of thoughts now, haunting him with things he’d never experience himself.

He turned as he heard Ven laughing, watching him leap into the air to catch the flying disc the idiots seemed so fond of throwing around. He didn’t like the odd twist in his chest, sharp and ugly, though he at least kept it in check enough to keep the shadows and Unversed at bay.

Vanitas dragged his feet out of the sand and trudged back up the beach. When the disc flew back towards Ven, he phased out and reappeared in front of Ven in time to catch it first.

“Hey!” Ven shouted, mock-punching Vanitas’ shoulder.

Vanitas turned, smirking beneath his mask. “Aw, does Venty Wenty want his toy back?”

“Does Vani Wani want to stop being an ass?” Roxas asked, coming up beside them with a glare.

Vanitas looked at him, about to tell him to scram, but he was cut off as Ven lunged at Roxas, shoving him to the ground.

“Don’t call him that,” Ven snapped.

“Hey!” Axel closed the distance between them, fire sparking around him as he grabbed the front of Ven’s shirt. “Keep your hands off Roxas.”

Terra and Aqua were there a heartbeat later, dragging Axel off Ven. Isa joined in, trying to defend Axel.

When the Keyblades and weapons came out, then the real scuffle started. It was hard to follow the battle outside of the bursts magic and shouting as everyone fended for themselves.

Vanitas remained where he was, still holding the disc and staring in confused amazement before snickering. He was fairly certain none of them even knew who they were attacking anymore. “Idiots.”

At the same time, he couldn’t help but notice the unpleasant sensation in his chest had lightened when Ven came to his defense. It was similar to pain, but there was no instinct to channel it into rage. He wasn’t sure he could have even if he’d wanted to.

When Ven managed to slip out of the battle, he joined Vanitas where he’d settled on the bridge to watch, flopping onto his back to catch his breath.

Vanitas watched him from the corner of his eye. “I don’t need you to defend me, you know,” he finally said, breaking the silence.

Ven turned his head to look up at him. “I know you don’t.”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes as Ven sat up, blinking when Ven deliberately bumped their shoulders together. There was no malice or hostility in it and he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react to it.

“But that’s what friends do.”

Vanitas snorted, looking back to where the others were finally starting to end their battle. “Are we friends?” he asked dryly.

Ven hummed, leaning forward. When he tipped his head back, the deepening sunset caught strands of his hair, setting it aflame with glints of gold. “It’s a good place to start.” He turned to Vanitas with a smile. “Right?”

The tightness in his chest returned, a bittersweet sensation beneath it.

All this time, he’d wanted nothing more than to force Ven to join their hearts together again. To reclaim what they’d lost, what had been stolen from them. He’d known, on some level, that it wouldn’t be possible. As soon as Sora had saved Ven, restored the part of him that had once been Vanitas, Vanitas had become obsolete.

He’d known the moment it happened. Had felt a small spark of _something_ that had kept him from fading into Darkness. And when he’d become aware of himself enough to look in a mirror and found a face that didn’t match Ven’s… He’d known. There was no going back. There was no chance of becoming whole again, not like they had been. What he’d lost was gone for good.

Xehanort had been there to guide his despair and pain, promising him that at the end of it all, when the χ-blade was forged, he’d finally find what he was looking for. He’d been desperate enough to believe anything.

But now, with Ven looking at him like he was something other than a monster… Calling him friend…

He looked away, lifting the disc and throwing it towards the others. It sailed through the air and hit an unsuspecting Axel in the face.

Bullseye.

“Just don’t smother me.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Ven, you can’t be serious,” Aqua said, a desperate plea in her voice. “He tried to kill us.”

Ven sighed, looking past her at Terra. As much as he loved each of them, he was reaching his limit on explaining why he was putting so much faith in Vanitas. If Sora were around, it would be so much easier. 

Terra stood with his arms crossed, watching Ven in silence. Finally, he sighed, resting his hand on Aqua's shoulder. “He hasn't caused too much damage so far,” he said, an audibly unspoken _yet_ in his voice. 

Ven let out a breath of relief. That was about as good as he could expect from either of them for the time being. But Vanitas had good in him. Ven could feel it. Vanitas just needed a chance to be himself, without the others there as a constant reminder of what he'd done. 

None of them could ever forget, but Ven was the one responsible for it all. Vanitas had come from _him_ , because of _his_ fear, because of _his_ weakness. 

He and Vanitas had to learn how to deal with each other first before the rest of them could be expected to. 

At least, that was his excuse. He could never admit that he wanted some time away from the rest of them. Not that he didn't enjoy hanging out on the Islands every week, and being able to train with Aqua and Terra almost daily. But after years of being locked away in Sora's heart, being surrounded by so many people was a bit overwhelming. 

“I promise I'll call every day,” Ven said, for the hundredth time. “It's only a few days.” 

“A lot can happen in a few days,” Aqua said, crossing her arms. 

Ven fought against a grin at how much she looked like a mini Terra when she did that. “Nothing's going to happen.” 

“So you think,” Vanitas said, coming up behind them. 

Ven stifled a groan. “You're not helping.” 

“I'm not the helping type.” 

Ven sighed and tried to think of a way to pacify his overprotective friends before Terra's brooding glare made him think better of it. He picked up his bag and grabbed Vanitas’ arm. “Okay we gotta go, I'll call you later.”

“Not if I can help it,” Vanitas said. “Ow! Pinch me again, I dare you,” he growled. 

Ven rolled his eyes, releasing Vanitas’ arm once they were out of range of the others. “You need to learn not to provoke everyone,” he muttered. 

“Maybe everyone else just needs to learn how not to be provoked.” 

Ven snorted. “You'd just find new ways to provoke them.” 

“Ah, you know me too well.” 

Ven paused as they reached the gummi ship, turning to look at Vanitas. “I don't though,” he said slowly. “Not really.” He believed Vanitas had good in him because he'd come from Ven, and Ven knew himself well enough to know he wouldn't fall to darkness, even if Vanitas had been borne from all the darkness he'd harbored. 

But Vanitas wasn't him. And he wasn't Vanitas. 

Not anymore. 

Not since Sora had intervened. They'd followed drastically different paths since then. And while he was confident he knew the core of who Vanitas was… he didn't know Vanitas as his own person. 

He suspected Vanitas didn't even know himself. 

He tossed his bag behind the seat and looked back at Vanitas with a faint smile. “But that's what this trip is for.” 

Vanitas raised an eyebrow, slanting Ven a wary look. “Is it? I thought you just wanted to get away from the clusterfuck you call a life.”

Ven narrowed his eyes. “You can stop with the act. No one is around to buy it,” he replied, settling into the pilot seat and punching in a course for Neverland. 

Vanitas dropped into the passenger seat. “Who says it's an act?” 

“I do.” Ven sat back as the ship lifted off, letting the autopilot guide them as he glanced at Vanitas. “Just like your mask is your way of keeping the others from associating you with Sora.” He tilted his head with a faint smile. “And probably to protect Sora from your image, too.” 

“You give me far too much credit,” Vanitas said. “I couldn't care less about that pipsqueak.”

“Even though he's the one who saved us?” Ven asked quietly. 

“Wouldn't have needed saving if you hadn't let yourself be torn in pieces in the first place,” Vanitas replied. 

Ven winced. He was sure Vanitas was just trying to get a rise from him, but it still hurt hearing it come from outside his own head. “I know that,” he whispered. “And I'm sorry.” He hadn't exactly planned to say that this early in the trip, but… “I'm sorry for all the pain you had to suffer alone. I can't even imagine what it was like with Xehanort, once you proved to be stronger than I'd been. But I know it was my fault, and I'm sorry.”

He was still weak. He'd never be as strong as any of the others, but that didn't mean he'd give up either. 

“Your touchy feelings are giving me the heebie jeebies,” Vanitas muttered. 

“Good,” Ven replied, turning back to the controls. “At least it means you feel something.” 


	5. Chapter 5

Vanitas had been fighting a growing sense of dread the moment Neverland came into view. It only grew worse when Ven immediately went off in search of Pan and his friends. 

It didn't help that he'd been air bombed by an upstart pixie as soon as they stepped off the ship. And then was told he couldn't strangle the bitch. 

He glared at Ven's back as he followed him, said pixie flitting around Ven like a guard-fly. He wanted nothing more than to rip those tiny glowing wings off her. Or leave. Leaving was a fantastic idea. 

“Where is everyone?” Ven muttered, looking around the cave that seemed to serve as part of Pan's hideout. 

Vanitas stopped a few steps inside. “Probably got eaten by that alligator. Let's go.” 

Ven gave him an annoyed look. "Crocodile," he murmured, before grinning as he saw a chest. “Hey, our treasure!” 

Vanitas tensed, keeping still as he watched Ven open the chest. He knew the moment Ven saw the broken wooden Keyblade, the way his expression turned hurt and confused, his shoulders sagging. 

“What happened?” he murmured, picking up the pieces, trying to piece them back together before looking at the pixie. 

The bitch immediately threw a squeaking fit, fluttering around Vanitas while pointing at him. 

“Fuck off, you gnat,” he snarled, swatting at her. 

Ven turned to him with a frown. “You did this?” 

“You really have to ask that?” Vanitas asked, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

Ven looked at the pieces again, running his thumb over Terra's name. “Why?” 

“It's just a fucking toy, why does it matter?” Vanitas snapped.

“Because it was important to me!” 

“It's just a piece of wood!”

“It was Terra's! It was the first gift anyone ever gave me!” 

Vanitas raised an eyebrow. “Is that why you're so buddy buddy with them? Someone gives you a piece of junk and you think they actually give a shit about you?” 

“They do care about me!” Ven stalked forward, a piece of the broken Keyblade held in each hand. “At least they've never tried to force me to destroy myself for the sake of a weapon.” 

Vanitas straightened. “At least I never abandoned you!” 

Ven flinched. “I never… I didn't abandon you! I couldn't even remember what happened!”

“Likely excuse. Venty Wenty is always so ready to forget the painful moments.” Vanitas sneered. “You're so weak that losing what little strength your darkness gave you nearly killed you.” 

“At least my strength doesn't come from being an asshole!” 

The pixie started flying around their heads with her annoying shrill shrieking. 

They both turned to her at the same time with a, “Stay out of this!” 

She stopped midair, crossing her arms and lifting her chin. 

Vanitas was sure she gave them a tiny middle finger before she flew off. When he looked back at Ven, he was focused on the pieces of the Keyblade again. He curled his hands into fists, hating that he didn't like Ven looking… crushed. 

“I wanted to hurt you,” he said, because it wasn't like the truth mattered now. Maybe Ven would finally realize he'd made a mistake. There was no point in trying to save Vanitas, because there was nothing there worth saving. 

Ven looked up at him with a slow breath. “I got that,” he muttered. He stared at Vanitas a long moment before taking another breath. “Would you do it again?” 

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “What?” That wasn't the reaction he'd expected. 

Ven hesitated before he pulled something out of his pocket, holding his hand out. In his palm was a green trinket that looked like a flower. “This is one of the most important things I have. It links me to Aqua and Terra both.” He stepped closer, until it was within easy reach. 

Vanitas eyed it, knowing this was some kind of test, but the thought of breaking a link between Ven and those idiots was too tempting to pass up. He picked up the trinket, turning it between his fingers. It would be so easy to snap it in half, but he wasn't sure what kept him from doing just that. 

Ven watched in silence, though Vanitas could practically feel him vibrating with tension. 

Vanitas smirked, tucking it into his own pocket. “I'll keep it safe for you.” 

Ven frowned. “If you even try to threaten to break it just to control me, we're done,” he said quietly. 

Vanitas felt a faint stirring of memory, of someone doing exactly that, back when they'd been whole. Before Xehanort got ahold of them. “Noted.”

Ven nodded, glancing around again before sighing and heading out of the cave. 

“Why are you taking that junk? It's useless.” 

Ven glanced back at him. “Just because it's broken doesn't mean it's not still important.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes and fell into step beside Ven. “You're too sentimental.” 

“Don't you have anything you don't want to lose?” 

“Nope. Don't have anything to lose to begin with,” Vanitas replied. He'd never seen the point in collecting _things_. It was all just junk that would rot when he died anyway. He stopped when he noticed Ven wasn't beside him anymore, turning to look back at him. 

Ven pressed his lips together, shaking his head after a moment. “You have me,” he said, hooking his arm around Vanitas’ before continuing back to the ship. 

Vanitas eyed where their arms were linked with a strange feeling in his chest. He still couldn't quite believe Ven hadn't left him back in the cave. That after all he'd done, what he'd wanted most was freely being given to him. 

“Lucky me,” Vanitas muttered.


	6. Chapter 6

Ven woke with a start, not sure what had disturbed him. He kept still and quiet, but he didn't sense anything out of the ordinary. They'd journeyed to Corona after Neverland to rest in a relatively safe area where Vanitas wouldn't be recognized.

Not that he was so easily recognizable without his armor. They were more at risk of him being mistaken for Sora on first glance, and Vanitas was not above milking that for free food and a room despite Ven's protests. 

He was just about to drift back to sleep when he heard it. A quiet, strangled groan. 

Ven was wide awake and sitting up a moment later, turning towards the other bed. He could just make out Vanitas in the spill of moonlight through the window. Sheets tangled around Vanitas’ legs. Pained look on his face. 

“No,” Vanitas growled, arms twitching as if he were fighting against something. Or someone. 

Ven clutched at his own sheets, forcing his voice out of his tight throat. “Vanitas.” He swallowed when Vanitas didn't respond, saying it again, louder. 

Vanitas jerked awake with a gasp and went frighteningly still. 

Ven wasn't sure why that was worse, but it was. “Vanitas?” he asked softly. When Vanitas didn't respond, Ven crossed the distance between their beds and sat beside him. 

“You're not real,” Vanitas whispered. His eyes were closed and he looked pale even in the dark. 

“I'm real,” Ven said. “I'm right here. Look at me.” 

Vanitas flinched away as if Ven had touched him, putting his back to the wall. The shadows that usually signaled the Unversed spread across the wall behind him before he slowly cracked his eyes open. 

Ven tilted his head as their eyes met. He didn't like the wild, panicked look on Vanitas’ face. The way he looked around the room as if expecting someone else to be there. Ven kept still, waiting until Vanitas let out a slow breath and looked at him again before speaking. “Bad dream?” 

Vanitas let out a soft, humorless laugh and rubbed at his face. “I killed you and drowned in your blood,” he replied, the shadows behind him vanishing. 

“Ah…” Ven watched Vanitas warily, hating that he wasn't quite sure if that constituted a bad dream or not. And if it did, which part. “Do you… want some water or… something?” he asked, starting to get up and give Vanitas some space. 

Vanitas grabbed Ven's wrist before he could stand. He glanced at it a moment later, looking surprised before he let out a slow breath. “No,” he said, pulling his hand away. 

Ven stayed frozen, his heart skipping in his chest, his Keyblade vanishing from its not-quite-summoned state. He licked his lips and settled back down on the bed. “Okay.” He flexed his fingers. “Wanna talk about it?” 

“Not really.” Vanitas sighed and rubbed his face again. “Stay,” he said, pointing at the empty space next to him. 

It could have been a command, but Ven heard the plea in it. Or maybe it was just his imagination. He nodded and stretched out on his back, aware of the warmth of Vanitas’ body not-pressing against his own. It was far more soothing than he'd expected and he yawned as sleep tugged at him. 

“I don't want to kill you, you know,” Vanitas murmured. “Not really.” 

“Oh, good,” Ven murmured, already half asleep. “‘M tired of nearly dying.” 

Vanitas snorted softly, shifting beside Ven until he was stretched out, their bodies lightly pressed together. “Think I'd rather kiss you.” 

Ven smiled, a laugh bubbling in his chest at the thought of that ever really happening. “Okay,” he murmured, yawning again as he pressed into Vanitas’ warmth and drifted asleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought it'd be that easy?
> 
> Also part 2 happens right around between last chapter and this one

Vanitas woke first, a cursed habit that had him waking at the crack of dawn and never sleeping in. He'd learned the art of power-napping while standing, relying on his armor and helmet to hide the fact he didn't give a shit about whatever was going on around him unless Ven was in his vicinity. 

As such, he had the chance to stare in bewildered bemusement at Ven. Sound asleep. Right beside him. Hair doing an annoying approximation of glinting gold in the morning light. 

Ridiculous. 

More ridiculous was how young Ven looked. Peaceful. Like he actually felt… safe, sleeping beside Vanitas. 

His eyes strayed to Ven's lips. He hadn't been lying when he said he wanted to kiss Ven. It was a desire that had been building for ages, running parallel to the urge to maim and destroy that Xehanort had cultivated in him. 

Sometimes he wondered how differently things could have played out, if he'd been strong enough to leave. If he'd had the will to go to Ven in those early days, when he hadn't known anything about himself other than the gnawing ache of loss. 

And then he remembered it didn't fucking matter. That nothing could be gained from fantasizing about “what ifs.” 

He flicked Ven's nose. 

Ven startled awake, sputtering and swiping at his face. He squinted at Vanitas in confusion before yawning. “Why're you in my bed?” 

“You're in mine.” 

Ven squinted again, looking around the room with a slight frown. “Oh.” Then he seemed to recall the night before, a faint flush creeping up his neck. “Oh.” 

Vanitas might have found it amusing if he didn't already know how this was going to play out. 

“You um…” Ven started, pushing up on his elbows as he glanced at Vanitas. “You said you..?”

“Wanted to kiss you?” Vanitas asked dryly. He watched the flush spread into Ven's cheek when he nodded. He took a moment to appreciate the Heartless-in-Keyblade-light expression before shrugging and sliding out of bed. He wasn't in the mood to hear excuses, so he offered Ven an easy way out. “Wasn't exactly in my right mind,” he said. 

It wasn't even a lie. Waking from his usual dreams and finding Ven beside him was going to take some getting used to. It was at least getting easier not to instinctively try and strangle the idiot upon waking. 

“Oh,” Ven said, heaving a sigh that sounded far too relieved. 

Vanitas sneered at his shirt as he changed, keeping his back to Ven. “Oh,” he repeated, mocking. Even though he already knew Ven would be disgusted at the idea of being with him, it was still a slap to the face. “Don't worry. I'm not so far gone I'd try to rape you.” 

“What?” Ven sounded shocked. “No, that… I wasn't worried about… that.” 

Vanitas settled the bandana over his face to hide as much of his expression as possible before turning, raising an eyebrow. “Weren't you?” he asked. 

Ven frowned at him, sitting up and crossing his legs under the covers. “No. I don't think you'd hurt me. Not physically, anyway,” - and wasn't that a loaded addendum. He shrugged, picking at the covers. “I just… It's not like I know how or anything.”

Vanitas froze, his hidden scowl turning to a frown as he stared. That… wasn't the response he'd expected. “How to kiss?” 

Ven's flush deepened as he nodded. “Do you?” 

Vanitas shrugged. “A bit.” 

“Really? Who've you kissed?” 

“Do you really want the answer to that?” 

Ven frowned, looking at him with something close to concern. “Do you want me to know the answer to that?” 

Vanitas sneered again, turning back to his bag and zipping it up. “No,” he said, done with the conversation. It was getting far too personal. He tensed as Ven came up behind him, bristling when Ven's hand hovered over his arm without touching. He turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. 

“You don't have to tell me,” Ven said. He reached up, tugging at the bandana without dislodging it. “But I wish you wouldn't wear a mask around me.” 

He slapped Ven's hand away with a soft growl. “Fuck off.” 

Ven sighed, looking surprisingly unimpressed. “You can't shut me out forever.” 

“Watch me.” Letting Ven in was the stupidest thing he could do. He wasn't even sure why he'd agreed to this trip. Why he didn't just up and vanish. Find some remote little world. Become a hermit. 

“What's the point?” Ven asked. “Do you hate me that much?”

Hate? Was that what he felt? 

He wasn't even sure how much his emotions were his own and how much they were just a product of Xehanort's manipulation anymore. Fear, anger, pain. Those he all knew intimately, but they were also always, _always_ reactions. When he had a chance to just sit and breathe, there wasn't much to feel other than an empty longing. 

And that longing, at least, he knew he didn't care for. 

“Sure. Let's just go with that.” He ignored the flash of hurt in Ven's eyes as he grabbed his bag and headed out. 

He was settled in the Gummi ship by the time Ven dressed and caught up with him. He sat slumped in the passenger seat, staring out the window. 

“So. Where to?” Ven asked, forced cheer painfully obvious in his tone. 

Vanitas shrugged. “Why don't we just head back?” They'd only been gone two days, but it wasn't like things would get better from here. Besides, Aqua and the others would likely send an army after them if they didn't go back soon. 

“Oh,” Ven murmured. “Alright…”

Vanitas could feel the weight of Ven's gaze on him, but pretended not to notice. It was easier that way. 

Better to rip the sutures out now than pretend anything could possibly heal the fractures between them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> If you enjoy my writing, consider following me on Tumblr for info on my original works - leojichuchumetti


	8. Chapter 8

Vanitas wasn't surprised in the least when Aqua and Terra were waiting when they landed. They descended on Ven like a tiny pack of wolves, and their already suspicious looks only worsened when Ven greeted them like a kicked puppy. 

Fucking coward. 

He wasn't sure where the anger came from. He wasn't sure he even cared to figure it out anymore. At some point between denying the one thing he wanted so Ven could pretend to have some peace of mind and leaving Corona, he'd let himself fall into what he knew best. 

A phantom ache beneath his ribs gave way to annoyance and then to anger, until he welcomed the familiarity of it. Forcing himself to keep control of the shadows and Unversed was a good distraction for the journey back. 

He hefted his bag and made his way past them, intending to find food before deciding where to disappear to. 

“Hey,” Terra said, falling into step behind him. 

Vanitas didn't slow as he glanced over his shoulder. “What?” 

“Sora asked to see you when he heard you were on your way back.” 

Vanitas stopped suddenly enough Terra narrowly avoided crashing into him. “Thought he was dead.” 

Terra shot him a look somewhere between disapproving and aggrieved. “He was trapped in the darkness. Riku got him out. Brought him back the night you left.” 

“And why's he want to see me?” 

“Ask him,” Terra replied, looking annoyed. He glanced to where Ven and Aqua were talking in hushed voices, looking back to Vanitas with a frown. “What happened?” 

“Nothing. I returned him unharmed. As promised.” He resumed walking, ignoring Terra's demands for an explanation. There was nothing to explain even if he'd been willing to share. 

He made his way to the kitchens. He'd missed lunch, judging by the lingering smell of cooking, but he found plenty of leftovers in the fridge. He dropped his bag by the island counter and filled a plate. 

Halfway through his sandwich, he felt eyes on him. They didn't belong to Ven, but it felt close enough he knew who it was without turning. “The fuck do you want?”

Sora didn't reply, just walked up and leaned against the counter across from him with that annoying smile. “How are you?” 

“Fuck off.” Vanitas ignored the pipsqueak in favor of finishing his sandwich. He expected Riku to say something, but Sora's guard dog seemed to be MIA. 

“You first.” 

That was unexpected enough to get Vanitas’ attention. He finally looked up and eyed Sora, curious despite himself. 

It was definitely Sora, but he looked… different. Older in the eyes. Like he'd finally acknowledged the burden of everything that had happened instead of trying so hard to fight for the silver lining. 

“What do you want?” he asked again. 

Sora shrugged, fixing himself a sandwich from everything Vanitas had left lying on the counter. It wasn't until he'd made it and was squishing it down into his plate that he asked, “How do you do it?” 

Vanitas raised an eyebrow. “Do what?” 

Sora sighed. “This, I guess” he said, lifting his hand and circling a finger in a general indicator. 

“Live?” he asked dryly. 

“Deal with…” Sora trailed off and shrugged again, tearing the crust off his sandwich. “The weight.”

Vanitas snorted. That was an easy one. “I don't.” He didn't even bother trying to lie. What was the point? He'd been back a grand total of two weeks - had it even been that long? - and he was no closer to figuring out what the fuck he was doing than when he'd been Xehanort's puppet. At least then he'd had a purpose, an end goal to focus on. Now he was just... alive.

He still wasn't even convinced Ven bringing him back had been the right call. 

Sora squinted at him in a very Ven-like manner. Or maybe it was something Ven had picked up from Sora. Either way, it made him want to punch the little shit. “Oh.”

 _Oh._  

He was starting to loathe that simple word. Oh. 

Oh, I understand. Oh, that explains _everything_. Oh, so _that's_ why you're so royally fucked up even your literal other half is disgusted by the thought of even touching you. 

 _Oh_. 

“Fuck off.” Vanitas shoved away from the island, grabbing his bag on his way out. 

“Vanitas, wait.” 

He didn't wait, and when Sora made the mistake of grabbing his arm to try and stop him, he slammed Sora back into the nearest wall. The Unversed exploded into existence around them, doing little more than hover near them. “Don't fucking touch me.” 

Sora swallowed, glancing past Vanitas briefly before nodding at him. “Sorry. I just… I'm sorry.” He tilted his head, offering a tentative smile. “Welcome back.” 

Vanitas sneered and pulled away, shoving the Unversed back where they'd come from and turning. He eyed Riku where he was watching from across the hall and continued past him to the bedroom he'd been set up with. 

He really needed to get away from here. 


	9. Chapter 9

“Ven. What happened?” Aqua asked. 

Ven sighed and shrugged before forcing a smile. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and mope for a bit, but he didn't want his friends worrying. There wasn't anything to worry about. “He just needed a break.”

“He didn't try anything, did he?” 

Ven squashed the surge of indignant anger. He knew Aqua meant well. And it wasn't like she knew Vanitas like he did. Like he thought he did. “He's not going to try to kill me, Aqua.” 

“That's not what I-” she started, trailing off when Terra came back. “I just wasn't expecting you back so soon. You're okay?”

Ven sighed. “I'm fine. Just tired.” And still completely lost on what he'd said to set Vanitas off. He'd thought they were making good progress without the others around to distract them. It wasn't like he'd expected it to be easy, Vanitas wasn't exactly the type to make anything easy, let alone getting to know anyone, but the fact Vanitas was even willing to be in the same room as him was a good sign. He'd thought. 

“I'm gonna take a nap,” he said, following after Vanitas.

“We'll wake you for dinner,” Terra offered. 

“Okay. Thanks,” he called back. He trudged up the stairs to his room and collapsed on his bed. He buried his face in his pillow with a groan. “Vanitas, you dumbass.” 

He wasn't sure how to fix things. He just knew he'd been excited at the thought of Vanitas actually liking him enough to want to kiss him off all things, even if it was a bit weird, and then Vanitas got all… quiet and angry and brooding. 

Maybe it was just too early for asking personal questions. 

Ven sighed and pulled the covers over his head. 

* * *

Roxas woke him for dinner a few hours later. He yawned and stumbled down the hall, only half awake and leaning into Roxas to keep from falling flat on his face every few steps. 

“How can someone who slept for years be so tired all the time?” Roxas asked. 

“You're one to talk. Axel says you sleep like the dead.”

“Must have picked it up from you.”

Ven yawned through a laugh. “Probably.” 

“Sora's back by the way. If you haven't heard.” 

Ven perked up a bit at that. “He's okay?” 

“Yeah. Mostly. He's… different. But he's fine.” Roxas nudged his shoulder against Ven's. “How'd it go with Vani-Wani?” 

Ven slanted a glare at Roxas. “Fine.”

“Liar.” 

“Why do you care? You don't even like him.” 

Roxas shrugged. “No, but you do. And you're not a complete dick.”

“Gee. Thanks.” 

Roxas smirked and pulled away when they reached the dining room, dropping into a chair between Axel and Xion. 

Ven hesitated as he scanned the table, but he didn't see Vanitas. He stifled a sigh and settled beside Terra, letting the half dozen conversations wash over him. 

Sora sat across from them, between Riku and Kairi. 

Ven couldn't help the faint smile that settled on his face at the sight. It hadn't sat well with him that Sora worked so hard to save them all and was lost as a result. He only paid enough attention to Terra and Aqua's conversation to know they were making plans for training as he watched the trio across from him. 

Kairi was saying something that had Sora laughing and Riku looking both amused and embarrassed at the same time. Her fingers were loosely entwined with Sora's on the table between them. 

Riku had his arm resting along the back of Sora's chair, seeming more interested in his companions than his food. 

Sora would lean back every couple of minutes, resting his head against Riku's arm. Riku would take the chance to flick his fingers through Sora's hair. 

They looked so casually intimate it hurt. It was the same way Aqua and Terra acted when they thought they were completely alone sometimes. The same way Isa and Axel and Roxas and Xion were around each other, though he wasn't sure of the dynamics between the four of them and he wasn't sure he _wanted_ to know. 

He looked at his plate instead, absently pushing his food around a bit. 

“Why do you look like someone killed your Chirithy?” 

Ven looked up as Vanitas dropped into the empty seat on his other side. He sat up, relief flooding his chest. He'd been sure Vanitas would up and disappear for awhile after their failed bonding trip. “You're still here.” 

Vanitas shot him a look and filled a plate. “Sorry to disappoint.” 

“That's not- I didn't mean it like that,” Ven said, dropping his fork with a frustrated sigh. “I'm glad you didn't just disappear.” 

“Are you?” 

“Yes.” Ven met Vanitas’ doubtful look with a serious one of his own. He wasn't lying, though he doubted Vanitas would ever really trust any of them. “You're not thinking of leaving, are you?” 

“Probably.” 

Ven sighed. “Will you at least promise to come back?” 

Vanitas snorted. “Do you really want me to?” 

“Why wouldn't I?” 

“I can name at least three reasons and they're all sitting at this table.” 

Ven sighed. “Why do you have to make everything so difficult?” 

Vanitas shrugged, offering a faint smirk. “Just my nature, I guess.”

“Your nature sucks,” Ven muttered. 

“It's your nature, too.” 

“Ven is more like a pouty teenager who doesn't know when to ask for help,” Aqua piped up, leaning forward to look around Terra. 

Ven tensed as he realized she and Terra were eavesdropping. “I am not,” he grumbled. 

Terra laughed, mussing Ven's hair. “You've gotten better.” 

“And what does that make me then?” Vanitas asked, holding his fork up and studying the mushroom on the end as if it were fascinating. 

Ven glanced at Terra and Aqua when they fell silent. Aqua looked like she wanted to say something, but was holding back. 

“A rabid dog,” Axel suggested. 

Ven bristled, looking up to find everyone's attention on them. “You take that back,” he snapped. 

“Better a rabid dog than one obedient to the wrong master,” Vanitas replied. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Axel demanded, leaning forward despite both Roxas and Isa pushing back on his shoulders. 

“Didn't you try to kill Roxas?” 

“You tried to kill Ven!” 

Vanitas finally turned his attention to Axel with a slow smile. “The difference is, I never called him a friend before trying to off him.”

Ven eyed Vanitas curiously. “You called me brother, though.” 

“You don't have to like your family.” 

“So betrayal is worse than murder?” Ven asked, only half joking. 

Vanitas glanced at him with a faint smirk. “Something like that.” 

Ven tilted his head as he considered that. “Do you consider us friends now?” He didn't miss the way everyone else had gone quiet, or the tension hovering in the room. 

Vanitas glared at him. “Why should I?” 

“Why _shouldn't_ you?” Ven shot back. 

Vanitas sneered, picking up his plate and leaving. 

Ven started to go after him, but Terra's hand on his shoulder stopped him. 

“Give him space.”

Ven sighed, slumping back into his chair. He was sure he'd been close to finally getting through to Vanitas, but like always, the bastard ran away before Ven got close. Closed himself off like… 

Like he was afraid. 

That realization shocked him to his core. Ven was afraid of _losing_ his friends. Not making them. 

But Vanitas had been alone all this time, with only Xehanort as any kind of human interaction. Of course he'd be wary of getting too close to anyone. 

Maybe he needed to change his approach. Or maybe what he was doing was working and it would just take time. Vanitas hadn't tried to kill anyone since coming back. In fact, he'd been surprisingly docile - for him - so far.

He glanced towards the door where Vanitas had gone with a soft sigh. Maybe Terra was right. Trying to force Vanitas into anything was sure to backfire. 

So long as Vanitas didn't try anything too stupid , he could be patient. 


	10. Chapter 10

Vanitas found his favorite tree at the far end of the park and stretched out on a wide branch near the top. It was blissfully quiet here, especially this close to sunset. No squabbling idiots. No irritating pipsqueaks. No annoying other halves. Just the breeze and soft burble of the fountain close to the center of the park. 

Here it was relatively safe to let the Unversed roam. They'd been struggling to burst free since dinner, sparked by Ven's infuriating questions and nameless emotions they'd evoked. 

A few hovered and drifted aimlessly around the tree. There was still the insane urge to destroy them, but it was getting easier to resist. Like it was getting easier to be near Ven without wanting to stab him. 

He lifted the stupid wayfinder trinket over his head. It caught and reflected the sunset in a prism of colors. 

“What the fuck is the point of this piece of crap?” he muttered. He was tempted to drop it to the ground. Let it shatter into pieces, bury them, and disappear. But he resisted, for some reason, and tucked it back into his pocket instead. 

He cringed when he heard some kids shouting as they ran by. Where the fuck were their parents? It'd be dark soon, why weren't they in bed? 

“What is that thing?” 

“Don't touch it idiot!” 

Vanitas sat up with a jolt as a strange sensation zinged down his spine. It wasn't pain, though he couldn't decide if it was unpleasant or not. He glanced towards the kids and saw one of them holding a Hareraiser. 

“What the fuck?” Sensible people were terrified of the Unversed. They didn't go around… _petting_ them. 

“Cool! Let me see it!” 

“No! It's mine!” The girl twisted away, squeezing the Hareraiser tight against her chest. 

“Don't be so selfish!”

They were… fighting over it? 

Vanitas watched curiously, hardly noticing when another Hareraiser and a Flood appeared and drifted over to the kids. 

“Oh cool, I want this one!” 

He watched the other two claim an Unversed for themselves before running off, apparently satisfied. The sensations intensified, sending tingles and goosebumps up and down his arms. 

They were… laughing. And playing with the Unversed like they were the best things they'd ever found. 

He was paralyzed as he stretched out on the branch again, the Unversed feeding the strange emotions back to him. He wasn't sure how long he was there, watching the stars and path of the moon. 

A few of the emotions, he thought he could identify - delight, satiated hunger, drowsiness. Others were… completely foreign. Little more than bursts of warmth of varying intensities. 

When it grew later and the sky had darkened to full night, there was a general sense of being tucked into a warm bed and warm arms. 

He closed his eyes as he squashed down the unease and just… let it wash over him. 

Was that… what it felt like to be wanted?

* * *

He slept in the tree and by some miracle didn't fall and break his limbs. It was early when he made his way back, but he was already sensing the kids were awake and still… pampering the Unversed. 

It was disorienting as fuck. And more than a little distracting. He grabbed some fruit for a quick breakfast and ran into Kairi as he headed for a shower. 

“Oh, Vanitas. Good morning.” 

“Morning,” he replied, pausing with a frown as he saw her look of surprise. “What?” 

Kairi blinked and offered the same infuriatingly annoying smile as Sora. “I just thought you looked more settled than before. Did something happen?” 

Vanitas scowled and didn't bother answering as he continued on his way. He enjoyed a scalding hot shower, lingering longer than usual as he got lost in the sensations filtering through to him. 

He still wasn't sure if he _liked_ them. They were so at odds with anything he'd ever felt before that it was a struggle just to keep from being overwhelmed. They made him want to slam his fists into the wall. Or sink to his knees and break. 

Neither were really appealing, so he shut off the water and got dressed. Maybe he should call those Unversed back, but… it didn't _hurt_. Not like destroying them always had. It might have even felt _nice_ , but it wasn't like he had much to compare it to. 

He wandered through the halls, pausing when he spotted Ven. He looked like he'd just woken up, his hair a complete mess and pillow lines on his face. The sight of him made Vanitas’ chest tight. 

Ven's hesitant smile turned confused when Vanitas stalked towards him. “Vanitas? What's wrong?” 

Vanitas scowled. “Nothing,” he replied, stopping in front of Ven. He wasn't sure what he thought he was doing, but it seemed important. He needed… something to compare everything to. “Can I put my arms around you?” 

Ven's eyes widened. “You- What- You want to hug me?” 

Is that what it was called? It seemed fitting. “Yes.” 

Ven swallowed, that Heartless-in-Keyblade-light back on his face, but he nodded. “Okay.” 

Vanitas hesitated, looking Ven over as he tried to figure out how best to go about this. Finally, he closed the distance between them and lifted his arms, settling them around Ven's shoulders. It felt awkward as hell and he made a face, about to pull away and write it off as another terrible experience, but then Ven stepped closer. 

Their bodies aligned, pressing lightly against each other, and Vanitas froze. 

“You can… move your arms. If that's not comfortable,” Ven murmured. He tilted his head, watching Vanitas curiously before resting his head against Vanitas’ shoulder. “Can I hug you back?”

“No,” Vanitas replied, voice tight as he kept a surge of Unversed at bay. 

“Okay.” 

Vanitas didn't move for several heartbeats, letting himself get used to the warmth. He finally shifted his arms, tightening them enough to feel like he was holding onto Ven. He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, letting his head fall forward enough to press into Ven's hair. 

It felt… Nice. Still awkward. But nice. 

He slowed his breathing and just let himself exist in the moment. He wasn't sure how long they stood there, but he would've been content to stay like that all day. 

“Um. Vanitas?” Ven finally murmured. “I'm kinda hungry.” 

“Five more minutes,” Vanitas growled, tightening his arms. 

Ven laughed. “Okay,” he said, his breath warm against Vanitas’ throat. 

That wasn't an unpleasant sensation either.


	11. Chapter 11

Ven was sure it took at least half an hour before Vanitas finally let go of him. He had no idea what had brought it on, but he wasn't complaining. Not in the least. The hug might have been awkward, but it was nice to see Vanitas was experimenting. 

And that he trusted Ven enough to choose him to experiment with. 

He just hoped Vanitas had enjoyed it. 

He slowed as he neared the kitchen and heard Riku. 

“What do you mean by weird?” Riku asked. 

“Just weird,” Kairi said. “He was smiling.” 

“Smiling… Like an ‘I'm going to murder someone’ smile?” 

“No… Like…” 

Ven slipped into the kitchen, trying not to interrupt their conversation, even if he was curious who they were talking about. 

“Like that,” Kairi said, pointing at Ven with a grin. 

Ven froze, looking between them in confusion. “What?” 

Riku raised an eyebrow, studying Ven as he sipped his coffee. “Something happen recently?” he asked. 

Ven felt a flush creeping up his neck and moved to the fridge. “No,” he lied, letting the cool air hit his face. 

Kairi hummed like she didn't believe him, but she didn't press. “There's some pancakes left,” she said instead. 

“Thanks.” He got a glass of milk before drowning a few pancakes in syrup, feeling like he was the size of a damn mouse again as they watched him. “What?” he finally snapped, glaring at them. 

“How're things with Vanitas?” Kairi asked. 

Ven was tempted to say it was none of her business. It wasn't. Not really. And whatever Vanitas was working on figuring out, he didn't need the rest of them interfering and making it worse. “Better,” he finally said. Grudgingly. “I think.” 

Riku and Kairi shared a look before Kairi smiled at Ven. “Good.” She grabbed Riku's arm and tugged him out of the kitchen, leaving Ven to finish his breakfast in peace. 

* * *

It became something of a ritual. 

Vanitas would wait until Ven was alone before seeking him out, usually to request a hug. Once, he'd asked to rest their foreheads together, and they'd ended up standing like that, with Vanitas’ arms around Ven's shoulders, eyes closed, for what felt like an hour. 

Ven kept his hands clasped behind his back to keep himself from latching onto Vanitas in return. Neither of them had much experience with touching, but he at least had Aqua and Terra who were free with their affections most of the time. He was used to casual hugs enough he could resist the desire to return it until Vanitas was comfortable enough to let him. 

It wasn't until the sixth or seventh such ambush that he was used to them enough to relax, absently tilting his head to nuzzle into Vanitas’ neck. A moment later, they'd been surrounded by Unversed, and a moment after that, they and Vanitas were gone. 

He blinked into the vacated space with a soft snicker. He was sure he'd seen a pink flush on Vanitas’ cheeks before he'd vanished. 

He was sure that was progress. Though progress towards what exactly, he wasn’t quite sure.

* * *

It was two days before Vanitas sought him out again. In the middle of the night.

Ven rolled out of his bed at the sound of someone knocking on his door, grumbling and swearing a promise of death if it was Terra suggesting they go for a pre-dawn run again. Sure, there might have been lingering Heartless issues and clean up to do on different worlds, but nothing was severe enough to justify getting up before the fucking sun.

He jerked the door open with a soft growl, ready to say exactly that, and came up short at the sight of Vanitas. He blinked, instantly awake, annoyance forgotten. Mostly. Because a hug sure as hell could wait until dawn, too. 

“Can I sleep with you?”

Ven blinked again, brain stuttering to a stop as it tried to wrap around what Vanitas had just asked. “I- Y...es?” he replied, continuing to stand in the doorway until Vanitas raised an eyebrow at him. He flushed and stepped back, closing the door behind Vanitas. “Can’t sleep?” he asked, watching Vanitas as a ball of nerves formed in the pit of his stomach. 

Vanitas shrugged, eyeing the bed a moment before looking at Ven expectantly.

Ven glanced at his bed. It suddenly seemed much smaller than it was. He swallowed and climbed back in, stretching out on the far side where he’d been. He kept still as Vanitas settled beside him, expecting to have an arm thrown over him at least, but Vanitas kept space between them and stayed still. “You okay?” he finally asked.

“I don’t know.”

Ven frowned, rolling onto his side to face Vanitas. It was hard to see in the dark, but he could see Vanitas staring at the ceiling. “Why don’t you know?”

Vanitas shrugged. For a moment, it looked like he wasn't going to answer, but then he said, “I don't think I've ever been ‘okay’.” 

Ven winced. That… certainly wasn't hard to believe, all things considered. “Well…” he started, resting his arm in the space between them. “Are you better than you were a year ago?” 

Vanitas was silent a long moment before letting out a slow breath, seeming to relax. “Yeah.” 

Ven smiled. “Then you're probably somewhere around ‘okay’ or ‘good’.” 

“Mm.” Vanitas rolled to his side to face Ven. “Can I lay on you?” 

Ven flushed, but he definitely wasn't going to say no to some cuddling. “Okay.” He stretched out on his back again, shivering as Vanitas threw an arm and leg over him and proceeded to squirm for a minute until he got comfortable. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, clutching the sheets with both hands as Vanitas’ breaths ghosted over his neck. Vanitas was a warm, solid weight pinning him down, and he couldn't help but think Aqua would have a seizure if she saw them like this. 

“You can put your arms around me,” Vanitas murmured into Ven's chest. 

Ven's breath stuck in his throat, a thrill racing down his spine. “You're sure?” he whispered. When Vanitas nodded, he slowly lifted his arms and settled them around Vanitas. He felt the tremor that went through his other half and kept absolutely still until Vanitas let out a breath and relaxed. 

He smiled and let his arms relax into Vanitas, lightly brushing his thumb against a toned shoulder. 

Vanitas shivered. “Do that again.”

Ven grinned and obliged, brushing his thumb back and forth in a slow, rhythmic motion. “This is nice,” he murmured. He still couldn't quite believe it was even happening, but it was nice. It almost felt like they were… not whole, but close. As close as they could be after being separated like that.

Complete.

“You like it?” Vanitas asked. He sounded surprised.

“Yeah. Of course.” Ven had enjoyed all of the contact, but he couldn’t deny it was better now, like this. With his arms around Vanitas in return. “You’re warm. And you smell nice.” He was pretty sure Vanitas had started using Riku’s sandalwood-scented shampoo. 

“You smell like fruit,” Vanitas muttered dryly.

Ven laughed. “It’s mango. It smells good.” 

“What’s a mango taste like?”

Ven’s chest ached at the question and he tightened his arms around Vanitas. “I’ll ask Sora and Riku if they can bring some back from the Islands. They said something about going there tomorrow.” He smiled when Vanitas hummed in a way Ven was learning meant that Vanitas liked that idea. He tilted his head, rubbing his cheek against the top of Vanitas’ head.

He was ready for the sudden appearance of Unversed and tightened his arms when Vanitas stiffened. “Don’t go,” he whispered. 

Vanitas flinched and pulled back, staring down at Ven with a wild look on his face. 

Ven kept his arms around Vanitas, lose enough he could easily break free if he really wanted to. “It’s okay,” he said quietly. He slid his hand along Vanitas’ shoulder to his neck, inching up to rest lightly on his cheek. He let out a soft breath of relief when Vanitas didn’t poof on him, even if he looked like he might bolt faster than a rabbit. “I’m not scared of them. You shouldn’t be either.” 

When Vanitas didn’t move, Ven glanced at the Unversed drifting above them. Even if he wasn’t really scared of them, he was still hesitant to touch them in case it provoked them. Or Vanitas. He lifted his hand from Vanitas’ cheek, reaching out to lightly touch one of the Unversed that looked like a rabbit. 

It drifted closer in response, bumping into his hand. Like it was asking for attention.

Ven grinned and brushed his fingers over it, pretending not to notice the way Vanitas shuddered in response. He hadn’t been sure how deep the connection was between Vanitas and the Unversed, but he wasn’t really surprised to see Vanitas could feel what happened to them. He rubbed at the rabbit’s ear with a soft laugh, relaxing completely. They were actually pretty harmless when Vanitas wasn’t in a bitchy mood. “They’re kinda cute.”

Vanitas growled and pinned Ven’s arm to the bed. He looked more annoyed than panicked at least, so Ven didn’t protest. Vanitas settled back down on top of Ven. A few moments later, he moved Ven’s hand to his own dark hair.

Ven blinked, swallowing a soft laugh as he curled his fingers into Vanitas’ hair. He couldn’t resist stroking, enjoying the way it was softer than it looked. “Was that jealousy?” he asked, sensing a couple more Unversed appear. 

“Fuck off,” Vanitas muttered, pressing his face into Ven’s chest and nuzzling like a cat. 

“Okay,” Ven said, removing his hand and letting it rest on the bed again. He felt Vanitas twitch and bit back a laugh, surprised he could be so relaxed with an agitated Vanitas on top of him. But knowing Vanitas was just an irritated personality in general made it a little easier to recognize when he was just being himself and when he was actually pissed off. 

Vanitas was silent a long moment before letting out a soft growl. “Ven.”

Ven grinned. “Yes?”

“...Put your fucking hand back.”

“That sounds like it should have a please attached.”

“I don’t say _please_ ,” Vanitas sneered.

“You should probably learn.”

Vanitas twitched again, and Ven was just starting to think he was pushing his luck when Vanitas bit out a sharp, “Please.”

Ven relented, glad for the excuse to bury his fingers in Vanitas’ hair. More Unversed popped into the room when he gave a light tug to it.

Vanitas relaxed, his breaths evening out. 

After a long while of simply enjoying the peace between them, Ven asked, “Do you want to sleep here more often?” 

“Maybe,” Vanitas murmured, sounding like he was already half asleep.

Ven smiled, tightening his arms a bit before closing his eyes. He could definitely get used to this. “‘Kay.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the comments you've all been leaving give me life, especially the cat ones lolol
> 
> Splitting my attention between this and a new Ven/Van fic I started, so I'll probably alternate between updating this or [If You Let Me...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18820054/chapters/44658709)

Ven pretended not to notice the way one of the rabbit Unversed - a Hareraiser Vanitas called it - followed him around after that first night. Then he pretended not to notice it perching on his head or shoulder whenever he went anywhere. After three days, he just accepted it as part of his life now. He took to absently petting it or rubbing at its ears with a faint smirk, imagining Vanitas’ expression wherever he was.

“Hey Ven,” Sora said, smiling as he fell into step beside him. “How’re things with Vanitas?”

Ven stifled a groan and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He got why everyone kept asking him that, but honestly… they needed to stop. Or ask Vanitas. Even if there was a chance Vanitas might bite their heads off for it. “Fine… Why?”

Sora hesitated, glancing behind them, and Ven looked back to see Riku was following a few steps back. “We’ve had some reports of the Unversed wandering the city.”

Ven slowed and finally stopped walking as that sank in. He'd seen a couple besides his own, but he hadn't thought much of it. “Are they causing issues?”

“Not that we've heard.”

“They've been pretty docile so far,” Riku said. “But Roxas said he saw some kids playing with them like they were toys or pets. We just want to make sure they're not dangerous.” 

“Oh.” That… actually might explain why Vanitas had been acting so strange lately. “I don't think they are. I think… they're actually a good sign. So long as the kids aren't trying to hurt them.”

Riku glanced to the Hareraiser hovering beside Ven. “He can feel what's happening to them, right?” 

Ven nodded, reaching up to tug the Unversed to his chest and hugging it. “I think he's using them to…” He trailed off with a shrug, not sure how to really explain it and not wanting to give too much away. He needn't have worried though. Both Sora and Riku seemed to understand. 

Sora tilted his head. “Do you think he'd mind if I have one?” 

Ven blinked. “Really?” 

“Yeah. One of the jellyfish ones? And Riku wants the Axe Flapper.”

“I do?” Riku asked dryly, though he looked more amused than anything. 

“I'll… see what I can do,” Ven said. 

* * *

 

By the end of the week, everyone had an Unversed. Kairi had a Flowersnake, Xion and Aqua had Jellyshades like Sora, Isa an Archraven. Roxas had a Mandrake and Terra a Hareraiser. Even Axel had picked out a Chrono Twister, after his request for the Wheel Master was unanimously vetoed. 

The effect it had on Vanitas was… strange. 

He completely avoided everyone except Ven for several days. It took almost a week after that for him to linger in anyone's presence without Ven around, but when he finally did, it was obvious he was far more at ease around them. 

Vanitas and Axel still butted heads, but it lacked the violent undertones from before. It was actually Axel who got Vanitas to laugh for the first time. A real, genuine laugh. 

Ven replayed the sound of it in his head for days. He wished he'd been paying enough attention to what they'd been talking about to know what caused it. 

Terra took to training with Vanitas, even going so far as to invite him for his pre-dawn runs. Which Vanitas agreed to like a dumbass. Which meant Ven was woken up most mornings by losing Vanitas’ warmth next to him when it was still dark outside. 

Terra hadn't seemed too surprised to find Vanitas sharing Ven's bed, but Ven was sure everyone knew by now since they were all nosy little bitches. 

He knew he was getting frustrated. He just didn't know why or how to fix it. 

“How are things with Vanitas?” Aqua asked, offering Ven a bottle of water as they took a break from training. 

“Why the hell does everyone keep asking me that?” Ven snapped. 

Aqua raised an eyebrow. “Maybe because we care about you? And you're on edge lately.” 

Ven drank half the water and splashed some on his face. “Things are fine.” 

“Fine. Is that all,” she said, not sounding convinced. She sat next to him on the grass. “Ven, what's going on?”

Ven twitched and couldn’t bring himself to look at her. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, it's been a few months now. Vanitas has actually… not caused as much havoc as I thought he would. Everyone's finding a new path for their lives, but you… seem a little aimless.”

Ven shrugged, picking at the grass. “We saved the worlds a couple times already. What else is there?”

“Lots of things. Just because the Heartless aren't an infestation anymore doesn't mean the worlds don't still need us. But if you need a break from all that, you can pick up a hobby. Sora is trying to teach everyone to cook,” Aqua said with a soft laugh. 

“Is that why Axel blew up the kitchen?” Ven asked dryly. 

“Yeah,” Aqua replied, hesitating long enough Ven had a sudden weary apprehension about what she was really trying to get at. “Beyond that… I was wanting to ask… I mean, I know Vanitas has been sharing your room, I just want to make sure he's not forcing you or anything.”

Ven went still, finally looking up at Aqua. Anger and indignation filled his chest at what she was suggesting. “You think he's forcing me?” he asked quietly. “You think I'd _let_ him force me into doing something?” 

Aqua winced. “That's not what I-” 

“It is what you meant,” Ven snapped, voice rising with the disbelief that after _everything_ , everyone still apparently thought he was _weak_. “Because even now, you don't trust him. You don't even want to trust him, do you?” Even if they were right and he _was_ weak, and just because he was desperate for… _something_ that he thought Vanitas could offer, didn’t mean he was going to just let himself be taken advantage of. “And you sure as hell don’t trust me! Or my judgment!” 

“Ven!”

“Fuck you, Aqua,” Ven snarled. He really wished he had Vanitas’ ability to teleport right then. He was tired from pushing himself too hard during their training, and his emotional state didn’t help his trek back in the least. 

By the time he reached his room and slammed the door shut behind him, he was shaking with fatigue and rage. He flopped onto his bed despite being drenched in sweat and curled in on himself with a groan. When his Hareraiser drifted closer, he swatted it away. “Fuck off,” he muttered.

When it moved back in, bumping against his head, he sat up with a snarl and slapped it away again. “I said fuck off!” 

The Hareraiser bounced into the wall and disappeared in a puff of shadows.

Ven froze, staring where the Unversed had been as a cold fear overtook the anger. No. No, no, no. Bad. That was… bad. Vanitas would think the Unversed were being attacked, and the negativity from that would undo the past months of progress he’d made. 

And it would all be entirely Ven’s fault.

He had a brief, wild thought of just taking a Gummi ship and disappearing. But even if he was weak, he wasn’t a fucking _coward_. He couldn’t just leave his friends to deal with the fallout of his actions. Then again, they were all so _chummy_ with Vanitas lately, they’d probably be just fine on their own. 

Ven jumped as Vanitas phased into the middle of the room, looking like he was about to kill someone. He shrank back, pulling his knees up and resisting every instinct that told him to call on his Keyblade. 

This was his fault. If Vanitas wanted to stab him for it, Ven would let him.

“What the fuck happened?” Vanitas asked, turning his attention to Ven and stepping towards him.

Ven flinched. “Sorry,” he murmured. “I’m sorry. It wouldn’t leave me alone and I just… wanted to be left alone. I didn’t mean to kill it.” He knew he was rambling, but he was so tired even the adrenaline didn’t seem to be working anymore. He didn’t seem to have control over his mouth. “Not their fault. Wasn’t Aqua’s fault either. She means well…” he continued, trailing off when a strange, murderous expression settled on Vanitas’ face before he vanished. 

Bad. That was bad. He needed to go after Vanitas. Stop him before he killed someone, even if it meant being the one killed. 

Ven struggled to get out of the bed, cursing as he got tangled in the sheets. By the time he stood, his legs felt like overcooked noodles and he collapsed to the floor with a whine.

Maybe he’d just stay there. The others could take care of themselves. 


	13. Chapter 13

Learning to utilize the Unversed in a way that wasn't just mindlessly attacking anything that moved had taken time. Mostly because it wasn't until the kids claimed some Unversed for themselves that Vanitas realized he didn't have to retain control over them to keep them from causing trouble. Once he stopped trying to actively control every single one of them, they would only attack if they picked up on a desire to cause harm. 

They might not have been living things, but they weren't without instincts either. They were more like sponges, brimming with a curious, desperate need to learn. They absorbed the energy and emotions around them and fed them back to Vanitas, which had helped him more the past few weeks than years of dealing with them on his own. 

He couldn't learn by identifying his own emotional state because his own emotions were always tainted by darkness and self-doubt. He'd never be able to trust if what he was feeling was genuinely that emotion, or just someone manipulating him into feeling that way. 

The first time he realized that was when he'd watched Terra overcome Xehanort's possession of him. Terra'd had a singular desire to help him focus. A desire he'd had before the darkness overtook him. Or born and fueled because of it. 

Either way, Terra remembered what it felt like to have clarity of his own mind. And he knew how it was different from when someone was controlling him. 

Vanitas didn't. He never would. That was part of why he'd been so willing to simply disappear. To fade away and become darkness. Before Ven had forced him into this body. 

On top of that, he wasn't even sure he could tell the difference between when he was annoyed at Axel, or just irritated because he was hungry. 

He still couldn't even name everything he picked up on from the others through the Unversed, but he was getting better at that, at least. He could distinguish between the different affections from Kairi, enough to know if she was smiling at Sora or Riku, because one was always more fondly exasperated. Enough to know when Isa was brooding and wanted to be left alone, and when he was depressed and seeking comfort. Enough to know Axel was a carefully maintained firestorm who wouldn't harm a fly. 

The flood of all those new, infinitely more complex emotions compared to those of the children had been overwhelming. Enough so that he'd had to limit what he absorbed from them. The only way he'd found to do that was to weaken the Unversed. Now, most of their energy was focused on sustaining their form, leaving what they learned as more of a distant echo than a direct link. 

Which meant any solid hit was enough to send them back to Vanitas. He didn't mind, since it gave him the advantage of knowing immediately if something was wrong. 

So when Ven's Unversed returned, he knew exactly where it came from, and that Ven was upset. 

Finding Ven in that state, angry and terrified enough to flinch the moment Vanitas stepped towards him… Like he truly expected Vanitas to hurt him, just because the Unversed had poofed on him… 

It filled him with an emotion he hadn't felt before, even through the Unversed. All he knew was someone had hurt Ven and had to pay. 

Vanitas left an Unversed copy of himself in front of Ven's door to make sure no one tried anything. At least not until he figured out what the hell was going on. 

He found Aqua easily enough; another advantage to everyone having an Unversed - no one could sneak up on him. She was still in the park where they liked to train. The fact she looked worried only pissed him off even more than he already was. 

Six months ago, he would have simply attacked and tried to kill her. Now though… He was still learning all the nuances of the countless number of emotions, but he could at least admit that while violence was certainly  _ an  _ end to all problems, it wasn’t necessarily the best one. 

For most people. 

He still wasn't convinced it wasn't  _ his _ best option, except for the fact that doing what was expected of him filled him with the desire to lash out. 

So for the moment, he refrained from attacking. 

“What did you do to Ventus?” 

Aqua eyed him warily. “Where is he?”

“None of your fucking business," Vanitas snapped. "What did you do to him?” 

“Nothing! It was just a misunderstanding.” 

“About?” 

Aqua hesitated, crossing her arms over her stomach. “You.” 

“Me.” Vanitas raised an eyebrow. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“What are your intentions towards Ven?” she asked, staring at him like she expected him to stab her through the heart. Not that he could really blame her. They hadn't exactly talked much in the months he'd been here. 

“How is that any of your business?” 

“Because he's my friend!”

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. “And not mine?” He stepped closer, relishing the thrill of satisfaction when she stepped back. If he had to resort to fear to get an answer, that was fine by him. “What did you say to him, Aqua?” he demanded. 

Aqua's throat worked, but no words came out. A moment later, her Keyblade was in her hand. 

Vanitas sneered. “You really want to fight me?”

“If it means keeping Ven out of your clutches, then yes,” she replied tightly. “I don't know what you're doing to him, but I know it can't be good for him. He's distracted and irritated all the time lately. You're poison. And whatever you're doing-”

Vanitas froze, hardly hearing what she said after _ poison. _

_ Was  _ he poison? 

He certainly didn't offer much in the way of cheer or smiles like Kairi or Sora, and he wasn't exactly dependable like Riku either. He wasn't even like Terra, who at least had fought his darkness and overcome it. 

Vanitas _ was _ darkness. He'd been born from it. Lived and breathed it from the moment he knew what it meant to be alive. 

For him, living was pain and despair. Living was seeking to destroy the one thing you wanted most so it never got the chance to stab you in the back. It was… agony. 

The past couple months had been even worse, because they proved he'd been _ wrong.  _ There was more than despair. There was joy and tenderness and sarcasm and dirty jokes. 

For some. 

Not for people like him. 

He'd known from the start he would never belong here, no matter how deep in denial Ven was about that. Ven's friends would never accept him. They would certainly never accept him being with Ven. 

He knew it would come to this eventually. Even if he was starting to find a way to get along with the others, Aqua would always be the one he'd never win over. 

He was stupid for ever letting his guard down. For thinking maybe he had a chance to be one of them. 

"You're right," Vanitas said. He'd noticed Ven being twitchy lately. Ever since he started getting along with everyone else. But he hadn’t done anything about it. 

Maybe Ven didn't want Vanitas around as much as Ven claimed he did. 

Maybe it was time for him to actually leave before the others realized Aqua had been right all along. 

Maybe he should make sure they didn't follow. 

He struggled to push away that dark urge, the desire to bloody and break Aqua for daring to question his intentions. Whatever was between him and Ven was none of her business. It was between him and Ven and no one else. 

Even if he was learning to accept that darkness didn't always have to be the answer, it was still his basic nature. Ven was the only reason he had to fight against succumbing to it. 

Even if he could tolerate being around the others, they weren't the reason he was trying so hard to figure out how to be normal. How to live rather than just survive. How to learn to navigate basic emotions that most people learned how to deal with as a kid. 

But hurting Aqua would piss off all of them, including Ven. It'd be giving in to what she expected of him. It'd be proving he couldn't be trusted. That he really wasn't worth all the effort the others had been putting into helping him. 

"So kill me." 

Aqua flinched, lifting her Keyblade in defense. "What?" 

Vanitas shrugged. "Poison spreads, right? If I kill you, I'd be admitting that you're right. If I leave, Ven will just drag me back. If I stay, you'll keep hurting Ven because of me. And eventually I'll try to kill you for it." 

He at least knew himself well enough to know that much. No matter how well he learned to control his own emotions, he had his limits. 

Aqua stared at him like he’d grown a second head. 

Maybe he had. He wasn’t sure. He just knew that Ven deserved to have friends who didn’t try to hurt him because of a disagreement or misunderstanding. Or try to kill each other. 

Aqua lowered her Keyblade, letting it disappear in a flash of light. “I’m not- I don’t want to  _ kill you,  _ Vanitas.”

Vanitas raised an eyebrow. “You just don’t want me around Ven.”

“I don’t want you hurting him!”

“You think I  _ want  _ to hurt him?” he asked with a sneer. 

“There’s more than one way to hurt someone.”

Vanitas let out a hollow laugh. “You think I don’t know that?”

Aqua winced, rubbing at her forehead. “Look, maybe… Maybe I misjudged you,” she said. It sounded like she was forcing the words out through clenched teeth. "But you nearly destroyed him once already. How can I trust you won't do that again?" 

"That sounds like your problem to figure out, not mine." He took a single step closer. "But if you make Ven-" 

Vanitas jerked and spun around as his Unversed copy struggled against someone who was panicking. Multiple people who were panicking. 

He hated how that panic bled into him. 

"Ven." 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited to make the decision more clear, hope that helps :x

Vanitas phased into the middle of a shitstorm.

His copy was on the stairs, guarding Ven where he was doubled over as if in pain. Sora, Kairi, and Terra were struggling to get past the Unversed with little luck. A distant part of his mind noticed not a single one of them had drawn a weapon, but he was more concerned with what the fuck was going on.

And why the fuck there were flickers of shadows around Ven.

No. No way.

If Ven was forming new darkness… What the fuck did that make Vanitas?

Vanitas phased to Ven's side. "Ven," he said, trying to get Ven's attention, but the only response was a pained moan. He grabbed Ven's arm to haul him upright, and that proved to be a mistake.

There was a brilliant flash of shadowed light and the distant sound of Ven's scream, and then everything went black.

 

He came to in a void. Or was it the Realm of Darkness? It was pitch black, the shadows so thick they were almost tangible.

Definitely the Realm of Darkness, but deeper than he'd ever traveled. Was he dead? Was this what dying looked like for someone who'd been born from Darkness?

But he didn't _feel_ dead.

Still had all ten fingers and toes, though he couldn't remember why he was here. He'd been… with Ven? Fighting. Losing. Fading…

And then...

He couldn't remember.

He pushed to his feet, or was he already standing? He walked - floated? - aimlessly. Where was he even going? He didn't have anywhere to go. No one to return to.

What would it have been like if he did? Have family? Friends? A lover? He'd never even had a pet. Did the Unversed count as pets?

No, he'd had a pet. A dog? When he'd been just a boy. How long ago was that, when he and Ventus had been one? Before Xehanort. Before the war. Before…

What came before?

Woods. A stream. A dog at his heels. An aching cheek from spilling their milk for the week.

A tiny cave with a blanket and a lantern and a view of the night sky. Cold rock as a bed, because it was better than what waited for him at home.

Why was he remembering that now? Why did it matter?

He blinked against the darkness, staring at a spot in the distance. It looked brighter. His mind screamed _trap_ , but it wasn't like he had any better options.

As he drifted closer, the spot grew steadily brighter, until he could just make out the shape of a door.

When he reached it, he found it was a double door that towered high over his head. There were strange markings in the frame and bright light seeped out along the edges and in the middle where the doors met.

 _One who was broken_  
_May once again become whole_  
_Or may remain separate and complete_  
_By replacing what was taken_

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Vanitas?" asked a muffled voice from the other side of the door.

"...Ventus?" No,Ven. He liked to be called Ven.

Vanitas stepped up to the door, following Ven's voice.

"What's going on?" Ven asked. "Last thing I remember is… killing your Unversed. You looked like you were going to kill someone… I tried to go after you, but I wasn't sure why it even mattered."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Vanitas replied, stopping in front of where Ven must be standing.

"You don't… remember? I brought you back. You've been living with us for months now."

That didn't sound right. "No."

"Oh."

_Oh._

He _hated_ that wo-

Why did he hate that word?

He stared at the door like it had all the answers, stepping closer. He placed a hand over the center seam, watching the light filter through his fingers.

Memories stirred, countless nameless emotions flooding through him. Fighting with Roxas. Running with Terra. Watching Sora teach Kairi and Axel to cook.

"Did Axel really blow up the kitchen?"

Ven laughed. "Yeah. It was a mess." His voice sounded closer, like he was pressed up against the door right in front of Vanitas. "You do remember."

"A little."

The voiceless words echoed in his head again.

"Do you hear that?" Vanitas asked.

"Yeah… I think we have a choice to make."

"What, to become whole again? Is that what you want?"

Ven didn't answer immediately and his voice sounded subdued when he did. "I don't want to lose you."

Vanitas snorted. "I thought that was the point of becoming one again. Not losing each other."

"No, I mean, I don't want… I like waking up next to you. I don't want to lose that. Do you?"

Did he? As much as he enjoyed it, it was just a temporary dream. A glimpse of something he'd never really have. "I'm poison. You're better off with me as part of yourself where you can control it."

"What? Vanitas what are you talking about? Who said you were poison?"

"Doesn't matter. They're right." He pulled his hand away from the door. Took a small step back. "Better yet, just forget about me. You've done well on your own without me in the way."

"Vanitas! Stop! Don't you dare leave me again!"

"Stop trying to fucking control me!" Vanitas shouted back. "This is my choice. The same one I made before you forced me into a body I didn't belong in. Stop being such a selfish fucking prick!"

Vanitas stared at the door, expecting some kind of rant in return, but there was only silence. Was it really that easy for Ven to give up on him? He really had been right...

"Okay," Ven whispered, soft enough Vanitas had to step close to the door again to hear his next words. "If that's really what you want… I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I just wanted you to have a chance to see there was more to life than darkness. I wanted… to get to know you. The real you. I just… Maybe I just didn't want to be alone anymore."

Alone? Ven had more friends than he deserved. He didn't need Vanitas around to fuck things up for him. "You're better off without me."

"You don't get to decide that!" Ven snapped, slamming a hand against the door. "If you hate me, that's fine, but don't you dare play it off as in my best interest."

Vanitas snickered. "Now you know how I feel."

Ven let out a strained laugh. "Yeah… I'm sorry, Vanitas." His voice sounded closer, like he had his head resting against the door. "I don't want to lose you. But if you want to stay here… I understand."

Vanitas glanced behind him. It would be easy to just walk away, disappear back into the darkness and… do what? Wander aimlessly for the rest of eternity? Alone, with only his thoughts and memories as company?

Surely there was an actual death waiting for him somewhere.

"Vanitas?"

He sighed, turning back to the door. "I don't want to stay here."

"Do you want to become one again?"

"Not really." As much as he would have liked to be whole again, he'd been having… fun? the past few weeks.

_You choose the path to remain separate and complete  
Are you sure? _

"I am. Vanitas?"

Vanitas took a breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah. I'm sure."

The doors groaned as they opened, swinging out towards Vanitas enough he saw Ven through the opening.

Ven grinned, haloed in brilliant light as he stepped closer. He held his hand out as tendrils of shadows crept forward, encircling Ven's feet.

Vanitas eyed Ven a moment before closing the distance between them, the warmth of light washing over him as he clasped Ven's hand.

He wasn't prepared for Ven to pull him into a hug.

Or the way everything vanished around them a second later.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so... welcome to the short-and-sweet ending...? More notes at the bottom

Ven woke unable to move, scrunching his face up with a whine. “Mmmrrrrf,” he grumbled, squirming until he realised he was pressed into Vanitas’ chest. “Vanitas?” he whispered, lifting his head enough to see they were in his room.

Had that door on the edge of realms just been a dream? He didn’t feel any different than before... Except… that pang of unease and loss he’d felt since Vanitas was ripped from him was… gone. Even after he’d merged with Sora, it’d been there, just on the edge of his awareness, but now it felt like he was… whole again. 

The jealousy over Vanitas getting along with the others better than he did with Ven was still there, but far less intense. Nothing like the surge of darkness it had apparently summoned when he finally acknowledged it. 

He breathed in the scent of sandalwood clinging to Vanitas and snuggled into him, soaking up his warmth. When he tilted his head, he could hear Vanitas' heartbeat, matching the steady rhythm of his own. 

"Ventus," Vanitas murmured, voice muffled against Ven's hair. 

Ven tipped his head back, smiling at Vanitas. "Hey." 

Vanitas blinked, looking around with a confused frown before focusing on Ven again. "Was that… real?" 

"I think so. How do you feel?" 

Vanitas rolled into his back, rubbing his face. "Different," he finally said, holding his hand above his face and wiggling his fingers. 

Ven propped himself up on his elbow, watching Vanitas' face. "Good different?" 

Vanitas dropped his hand to the pillow above his head and looked at Ven, running the fingers of his other hand through Ven's hair with a frown. He tensed a moment later, fingers curling tighter. "The Unversed are gone." 

"What?" Ven winced at the tight hold, blinking as Vanitas immediately loosened his grip. "What about your Keyblade?" 

Vanitas stretched his other hand out, his Keyblade appearing easily. He stared at it a moment before letting it vanish. "Just the Unversed," he murmured. 

Ven tilted his head, carefully resting his hand on Vanitas' chest. "Did you still need them?" 

Vanitas turned his attention back to Ven, flexing his fingers in blond hair. His eyes moved to Ven's lips, which was usually right before some Unversed would pop into existence, but they were nowhere to be found. "Not really…" 

"Good," Ven murmured. He'd miss having them as a sign for when Vanitas was flustered, though. The bastard was as expressionless as a damn cucumber when he wanted to be. The only expression he seemed to have no issue with was murderous. 

"Should we let the others know we're not dead?" Vanitas asked dryly, though he didn't look like he cared about doing so in the least. 

Ven shrugged. "Probably." He glanced to the door, climbing out of bed and moving to poke his head out. 

Axel was coming out of his own room down the hall, holding a change of clothes. Early evening then. He startled when he saw Ven, eyes widening. 

Ven grinned at him. "We're alive, but we're not coming out until tomorrow." 

"Uh. Right. Got it…" Axel seemed to recover as Ven was closing the door, and a moment later Axel yelled, "The dumbasses are back!" 

Ven groaned and flipped the lock before crawling back in next to Vanitas. 

Vanitas snorted, tugging Ven into his chest. 

Ven blinked, not resisting in the least as he stretched out on top of Vanitas. Usually it was the other way around, with Vanitas pinning him against the bed with his larger frame. This was nice, with his leg tucked between Vanitas' and fingers stroking through his hair. He couldn't hold back the soft purr of content as he closed his eyes. 

"Thanks," he murmured, gripping Vanitas' shirt. "For coming back with me." 

Vanitas didn't answer, but that wasn't too surprising. 

Ven tilted his head enough to nuzzle against Vanitas' neck, relishing the sharp intake of breath before pressing a careful, light kiss to the same spot. 

Vanitas shuddered beneath him, fingers tightening in Ven's hair again. "Ven." 

Ven smiled. "Yes?" 

"...Do that again." 

Ven laughed and pressed more firmly into Vanitas. "You missed a word." 

Vanitas growled, clenching at Ven's hair. " _ Please _ , you shit." 

"Tsk tsk," Ven murmured, flicking his tongue against Vanitas' throat. He forgot whatever smartass response he'd had when Vanitas let out a soft moan. Without the Unversed to interrupt and give proof of Vanitas' state of mind, he seemed far more willing to let things go further than he had before. "Is this okay?" he asked, nuzzling into Vanitas' throat. 

"Don't stop," Vanitas breathed. 

_ Never, _ Ven thought. He didn't want to ever stop. "Okay," he said instead. 

Now that they were both… complete, maybe they could learn to complete each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> H'okay, so I've let this sit a couple days to see if I had the desire to actually add more to it, and I haven't, so I'm going to call this the end. Mostly because this feels like a natural end to their character arcs - learning to exist and live with each other as separate people. And if I end up writing a resolution between them and Aqua, I kinda want it to be from her POV, and I don't want to start adding other POVs to this so late in the game. 
> 
> I kinda have ideas for another series exploring them actually getting together, but I have enough projects going that I really needed to get rid of one. So if I do continue or start a new part of this series, it would have to wait until later in the year. We'll see. I'm focused on the other Ven/Van work I started, so I want to finish that before I try to juggle a third again. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and the comments, they're honestly what kept this going and gave me the motivation to finish. *hugs 'n kisses*


End file.
